What is “enough”?
It seems our culture has been geared to wanting more, more, more – for a long time. As have I. I’m not sure that we really need more when we can’t manage what we do have most of the time.
I’ve been absent from the blog for the past week + because I don’t feel like I am enough – not writing well enough, not interesting enough, not enough time to write as well as I would like to. I feel as skelliewag says in her wonderful post: Getting Better at Bad: Why practice doesn’t always make perfect, that I am “practicing” bad writing.
It doesn’t feel very good to feel as if I’m not giving my best. Perfect may be the enemy of good. But good or even average is the (good) enemy of nothing.
What does this have to do with money? Maybe a lot.
The perfect budget targets that you meet every time with no variance? It doesn’t exist. That’s why accountants like me made miscellaneous accounts and variance explanations. A target that’s easy to reach is often no target at all. But a target that’s impossible to reach isn’t very motivating either.
What is Enough?
- working an average of 6 hours a day even though I know I could earn a lot more by staying later or working more days – because I want to spend time with my kids and myself
- not working for at least 6 months out of the year
- not pushing to work more on personal projects at home or work projects because 8 hours of sleep is heaven (I just wish the dog got that memo)
- being okay with losing 1/2 pound a week because there’s no race and no prize to be received if I get all crazy
- not spending more than an hour (or less) a day on blogging and not having a ton of blog readers because it’s a lot of work to be a great marketer
- saving 10% a year
- like Grumpy Rumblings, not paying off the mortgage and making myself cash poor but choosing to feel safe with lots of cash in the bank
Knowing that “Enough” is “Enough”. Because sometimes you just don’t want – or need – to be push to be perfect.
Ayup. Even though the range of “good enough” is large, it’s hard to stay in it. We’re always tipping to one side or another or just feeling bad no matter where we are.
But… your blog posts definitely don’t have to be perfect and you’re not practicing at bad. Don’t let that trip you up! Keep the wordz coming.
I’m reading about gifted kids right now in my copious free time and man that perfectionism is a big big thing. It recommends saying, “You’re still a good person even if you write a crappy blog post. One instance is no measure of your abilities.” and “Last time you thought a blog post was crappy it really wasn’t. Maybe this time will be the same.” Since you’ve countered the “practice” comment I won’t give that, but you know it’s true.
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We didn’t have gifted and talented programs back when I was a kid, but my sisters and I all skipped grades instead (not something I would personally recommend). The book that I really liked on all of this was Carol Dweck’s “Mindset”.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids
I don’t know, we were never told at home that we were gifted, just sort of looked on as freaks at school. I took the “fitting in” route of being deliberately bad. And sometimes still do it I guess.
I was just telling this to someone the other day – the posts you think are the worst may be the best received.
Life is tough. You can’t get hung up on being perfect in every aspect. If you don’t feel like writing, then don’t write. But don’t ‘not write’ because you feel like your writing isn’t good enough. The fact that people come back shows it is good.
Also, NEVER feel bad for spending time with your kids. There is no better investment in the world.
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Yup, I’m definitely guilty of the “not good enough” reason for not writing. On a positive note, then I go comment on other people’s blogs just to satisfy my verbosity!
I think I was raised with a very strong puritan work ethic and find it very difficult to shut off the “you must be working at all times” voice in my head. But then I rebel and procrastinate and read trashy novels.
But just like the “you must never spend money on yourself” voices, the older I get the better I get at telling those voices to STFU.
This is true for EVERYTHING! I tell my students to write a bad first draft. Or even a bad sentence. I tell MYSELF to donate 10 things rather than wait to do a full-scale clean out. Yet we still need to hear the message over and over. Thanks for doing it.
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I know FS, but maybe I shouldn’t write a bad first draft and hit “Publish” so often because I’ve run out of time.
On a positive note, I have about 30 draft posts I can tweak!
I was having great success last year by just decluttering and donating a box or so biweekly. It’s down to the nitty gritty now of the big stuff and maybe a huge freecycle listing or free garage sale in the spring.
I just found your blog and found it very inspiring. So, keep up the good work and don’t be discouraged.
Thanks Christa! If nothing else, maybe I can be a good example to others of what NOT to do sometimes.
Enough is also accepting ourselves, our downfalls, and our choices. It sounds like you’re making all the right choices. I just discovered your blog, but what I’ve read so far doesn’t read so badly to me.
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LOL – damned with faint praise!
Thanks Lindy. Just trying to do what makes sense at the time most of the time. I guess if I knew better, I’d do better. But I don’t know better, and maybe it’s not even important enough to worry about. 
What the heck is perfect anyway? Imagine how lonely we’d be if our friends and family thought we were perfect?
I love your posts Jacq. Sometimes I learn, sometimes I’m inspired, sometimes I can relate and usually I smile.
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Oh thanks so much Tracy, I have to remember that this is NOT my day job, it’s just a hobby. I think I have a couple of funny ones coming up that have been asking to be written.
Do it!
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Okay!
You are a great writer. I’m nothing short of astounded at the quality and quantity of writing on this blog.
I really enjoyed this post. Balance is hard to find, it comes and goes and I am finding it’s best to accept (for me anyways) that I’m in an eternal state of striving for it. I equate enough with balance in my life.
Weight loss: the slower you lose it the longer it stays off in my experience. I’m trying to lose 11 pounds by next summer. It is slow going.
I hear you Rachel – I think I’ve always gone to extremes on things before (work, saving, not work, not saving…)
and learning to take the middle road way is so much more peaceful. Yet I’m drawn to the drama of fast results and herculean efforts.
I wonder if “slow weight” stays off longer because you tend to automate what you do as well? Right now, I’m just following the “eat when hungry, stop when 80% full” plan and it works so well, but slowly. Oh, also eat at 4 p.m. I HAVE to eat something with protein at 4 p.m. or bad things go into my mouth at night.
Just came over from GRS, and this post caught my eye. I thought I’d pass along a great piece of advice from someone who knew well my perfectionist tendencies: anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Now, a therapist friend of mine heard that, laughed, and amended it to: anything worth doing is worth doing imperfectly, but I still like the original version.
As one of those people who frequently gets asked to do things – and is too wimpy to say no – this has been a lifesaver.
YMMV
Thanks AJ! I like your version better too.
I don’t have a problem saying no (thank goodness!), but I have perfectionist tendencies with things I’m not really comfortable with when it comes to skill level that mean a lot to me. Writing is one of those things, which is kind of silly since it’s not my job, I make nothing off it, don’t even want too terribly many visitors since I like responding to every comment (and that’s hard when there’s more than 5.)
At the end of the day it’s just a hobby.
Yet paradoxically, I don’t mind playing sports badly, don’t mind doing the minimum on lots of things. I need to get into that head space more I guess.