Why do we expect retirement to be like ads that we see for mutual funds, wealth advisors, retirement vacations or plus 55 communities?
If we get an invitation from a friend to a party, we don’t expect it to turn out like the reenactment of a beer commercial TV ad. We expect to possibly have a good time at the party, possibly have some laughs, maybe even be okay with being a bit bored at times – but by no stretch will the people be as gorgeous or the laughter as loud as it is in a beer commercial. And I guess you shouldn’t expect to see squirrels guarding your friend’s beer either like here:
It seems to me that you shouldn’t expect to have a life in retirement that’s very much different than your working life, if only because it would be the rare old dog that could learn that many new tricks.
I think we do expect our lives to be remarkably different because we know better about parties. We’ve all been-there-done-that with parties, but we’ve never BTDT with retirement, so we can’t know what to expect we’ll do with all that free time. I naively thought I’d like to spend time volunteering at my son’s school and I kind of have, but I actually don’t really like spending much time with children (my own are fine, they’re not rude little brats).
And they made me glue teepees. Can’t the kids glue their own teepees? Whatever happened to raising independent kids? Why do they have to have everything done for them? Big babies.
Some things have been different. Some for the good, but some for the bad. Like I have watched more TV in the last 4 months than I have the previous 4 years. That’s still only about 30 hours of TV, but really now. Although I did discover the series Deadwood, and to show you what a sick freak I am, I actually find Ian McShane’s character – Al Swearingen extremely attractive. Always did like the sociopaths.
If you were the type of person that job-hopped or held a variety of different types of work in order to seek out new challenges in your career, you’ll probably be the type that needs new challenges in retirement and will do stuff like run marathons or start writing or painting or something else cool. If you were content sitting behind a desk putting in your 8 hours a day and no more in order to spend quality time with your family and friends, you’ll probably just spend more quality time with family and friends in retirement. Hopefully drinking beer.
For some godforsaken reason with all this time off, even I expected to be able to quickly lose weight, get in better shape, and possibly give this chick a run for her money:
Instead, I’ve ended up too much like the first chick before the transformation, feeling kind of introverted and lonely – and come to think of it, also like the guy and drinking a bit more while wondering why my life wasn’t transforming in front of my eyes without me doing anything. It’s okay though because this week I think I found a purpose again, so it’s all good.
Here’s a quote from You are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day (edited by one of the peeps behind The Onion, so you know it’s a cool book.)
You often say that you’re not doing exactly what you want to be doing with your life. You will continue saying this until you die.
You need a hobby, most retired people either golf, attend quilting classes… I heard lawn bowling is fun…
I hear you on the volunteering thing, I did that with my son's class and ended up herding three bratty children into the gym for crafts and halloween pictures (mine was placed with a different group) and these kids would not stay in line! I tried my hardest to think they were all having a bad day, but alas it was just the way they were! I would have thought they would place me with my son's group, but another mother got my angelic child while I got her little horror!
Not again!
I think retirement is like anything in life, it's how you approach it.
Maybe take a class at the local college? Join a group (maybe about dogs?) that meets every second tuesday afternoon or something.
I remember going to bar lots of times with no money put a pocketful of ambition to have a good time regardless.
I will approach retirement like that. A cup half full rather than half empty.
Has to be better than sitting in the 8X8 daily and making money for someone else?
There has to be more in life than that, don't you agree?
Maybe once the summer really hits and the kids are out of school, things will change as you will have the opportunity to go camping mid-week?
Cheers.
No, I don't want a "hobby".
I want a challenge, a big, humongous purpose. Something that makes me excited to wake up every morning to go to work on it. Something to be GREAT at. I think I've got it, now just to see if I enjoy the process of doing it enough to keep up with it. Stay tuned…
Muahhh ha ha
You totally nailed this post.
I quit my full-time gig almost 3 years ago and while the 'idea' of early retirement was ridiculously exciting, the actual lifestyle you lead is the same as before except you have 8+ more free hours every day. And less stress. And less responsibility. And more freedom. And more fun.
Okay, forget it – early retirement is a squillion times better than having to work for a living.
BUT it's important to find something you are passionate about since you still need to challenge yourself. My 'something' is the stock market … and I'm very interested to find out what yours is!
C'mon… spill the beans.
Hey Kelsi!
I don't want to jinx it and be all talk, no action. Plus there's the "if I told you, I'd have to kill you" factor.
That's awesome that you love the stock market! It surprises me that I'm not more interested in it myself. It doesn't really float my boat though, I think because I don't see it as very controllable to a certain extent.
And maybe in my lurid past as a corporate accounting geek, I've manipulated too many EPS numbers to feel comfortable about the transparency of most companies w.r.t. what the average person on the street gets to find out through annual reports etc. I like having a bit of inside knowledge (nothing illegal of course!) – especially on the ops side.
Best of "Best of Money Stories"! Awe-inspiring! Congratulations.
This is a good post…touches on a lot of big issues.
Me, I wanted retirement to be as much like preretirement as possible, experience having shown that change for change's sake invariably…well, has unintended consequences.
Volunteer? Hobbies? Are you kidding? My time is still worth $60 an hour–getting laid off from a university job didn't change that. And gluing teepees for the kiddies doesn't make it. Teaching the products of our public schools how to spell their names and write a coherent paragraph in their freshman and sophomore years of college suffices…at least I'm being paid to do that.
As for the rest of my "free" time: stand back, ladies and gentlemen–don't get scorched by the sparks.
Retirement is great. But the truth is…it's more work than working. At least you get to do the work you want to do.
Hey Funny,
You're absolutely right that it is more work – I think the hardest thing is figuring out WHAT you want to do, but the nice thing is you don't have to do it for money. It's much nicer to do things for love not money.