All self-respecting frugal people consider it their duty – nay, their mission to save money on groceries. The common method used to do this is to stockpile groceries as if they were starring in a reenactment of Cormac McCarthy’s post-apocalyptic drama, The Road.
Certain tools are required to fulfill this money-saving mission. One of these tools is the supermarket flyer or insert. If your neighbor has a sign on his mailbox saying “No Flyers”, your neighbor is not frugal. Another indication is if they own a BMW. If they say “No Flyers Please”, they are probably non-frugal Canadians.
Supermarket flyers are like p*rn to frugal people. The frugal person uses flyers to engage in an unusual activity called “loss leader shopping.” This crafty behavior allows the frugal person to exhibit their magical powers of self-denial by restricting their menus to only loss leader foods so they think they’re putting one over on the grocery store. If loss leaders are canned beans, peaches and broccoli, the truly frugal person can whip up an appetizing peach-broccoli-bean casserole in their crock pot that will make your taste buds weep with joy. Or something.
Another interesting exercise which frugal people do with all that time they’ve saved not sitting in restaurants or waiting for take-out is to run from store to store picking up all the loss leaders. Don’t make the mistake of suggesting to the frugal person that they’ve consumed more money in gas by running from store to store than they’ve saved off that 2 for 1 off sale on the other side of town. They may start feeling compelled to save gas by biking from store to store in the dead of winter.
Black belt frugal people go one step further and create a pantry inventory system which is the envy of manufacturing plants everywhere. The most common of these is called the FIFO (first in first out) system.
Frugal people also spend copious amounts of time examining expiration dates on any food items in their refrigerators and planning meals around those expiration dates. They will feel a pain not known to non-frugal people called “frugal guilt” when they realize they forgot about that head of lettuce in the bottom of their fridge. Their anguish can be appeased somewhat if they cut off the mushy bits and salvage the remainder. If that’s not possible, they will feel slightly less guilty if they utilize a compost bin.
The best thing about having a frugal person as a friend is that you always have someone to give your rotten bananas to. For the price of 3 rotten bananas, most frugal people will give you a loaf of banana bread with chocolate chips or walnuts worth at least $5. Frugal people are cute that way. But before you eat it, maybe you should ask them what pantry inventory system they use.
Note to readers: The author of this post makes awesome banana bread and continues with a daily struggle against resisting sales and using the FIFO system.
If your neighbor has a sign on his mailbox saying “No Flyers”, your neighbor is not frugal.
That would be ME–not the non-frugal type, but the type that is tired of seeing ads that really aren’t bargains at all, and a waste of time and money to produce, when they contain nothing of useful interest to me.
As far as being frugal WITHOUT the use of coupons, flyers, rebates, etc., that’s where I’m the black-belt. Rather than making fun of us, why no learn to do it for yourself?
Yes, we like stockpiling groceries, and it’s because of inflation–what we pay today is cheaper than what we’ll pay tomorrow (especially in this economy). We want the most food for the cheapest dollar ALWAYS, so when prices per pound are low, we stock up enough to last (hopefully) until the next sale. The further off that next sale is, the more we stock up to hold out. With Obama being in power, we don’t know when that “next sale” is coming, so we’re stocking up…some of us until Obama leaves office.
Oh, and about that banana bread: you may have given 3 rotten bananas, worth about a discounted .10/lb., but somebody added nuts and chocolate chips bought at a deep discount, so that banana bread may be WORTH $5, but $5 wasn’t even what was spent to make it–more like $1 or $2. We come out ahead on your banana bread, since you paid .35/lb. for the FRESH bananas, you’re the one taking the loss!
See how we turn trash into treasure? Before you criticize, ask us how we’re dealing with this recession–it’s a black-belt frugalite buyer’s market out there. We’re paying cash for tons of stuff–cash which we saved by hoarding groceries when they were cheap. Who do you think’s buying up the foreclosed homes for cash in this country, and where do you think the cash comes from?
Sorry you saw the post as criticism Wenchypoo – being a frugal banana bread maker myself as you can see from this post: http://singlemomrichmom.com/food-%E2%80%93-cheap-and-healthy/
… it was meant to be just a bit of humor – primarily directed at myself. Sorry you didn’t see the humor in it. Clearly, I need more practice.
But I would like to know where you source old bananas for $.10/pound, I can’t even find them for 50% off for under $.27/pound. But then, I’m Canadian and our groceries are far more expensive than in Obama-land. Personally, I always stock up on groceries that are far cheaper down there when I travel to Obama-land. That’s why I love my friends that give me bananas for free – and they love me because they get back a couple of loaves in exchange. Made to their specifications – whether that’s chocolate chips or walnuts. I think they’re playing me…
Love this post. I’m not a stockpiler, though. I won’t buy things I need for pennies on the dollar just because I can — I prefer to have a few of the items we use regularly in my pantry as backup. It’s much easier to implement FIFO when you only have 2-3 extra jars of peanut butter
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Hey Penny, I’m a stockpiler myself that goes for the thrill of the sale.
One would think I’m feeding a family of 20 at times. Thanks for seeing the humor in the post. I guess I should have put a disclaimer on it! LOL
Thanks for my morning laugh, Jacq! I have plenty of “no flyers please” neighbours. I always jokingly feel bad for them. I totally get why people find them a nuisance.
For years though, I’ve developed a Friday evening routine where I pour myself a little glass of wine, and peruse the flyers and decide where I’ll walk to with my little bundle buggy to pick up those loss leaders. On Saturdays, I can spend three hours picking up groceries because I’ll walk to one store, come home and unload, then walk to the next, etc.
I’m particularly lucky that I’m in a neighbourhood that has three competing fruit stands about four blocks away. Sometimes one of them will sell off bananas at .19/lb, which is the cheapest I’ve ever seen them here. Seems the kids usually turn them into smoothies before I get the pans out for banana bread. Either way, they don’t go to waste.
Oh, remind me not to get a BMW
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Hey Tracy! I like the flyers – they make good fire starter when we go camping.
I usually try to time this one store for when they mark their meat down to 50% off. But it’s not an exact science because they sometimes switch the days on me. Frustrating!
The place where I’m working now brings in a load of fruit every week – and yes – I bring home the extra bananas on Fridays and make banana bread with them and bring it into the office. Otherwise, they might (gasp!) throw them out – and not even into a compost bin!
At least you’re getting your exercise which is more than I can say!
My brother bought a very late model Mercedes a few years ago. I was very lucky that when he was driving in it with my son and they got T-boned by a pickup that he WAS driving it. Those things are built like tanks…
During our weekly trip ‘to town’ yesterday I saw my fave Nivea lip balm on sale – a 2-pack for $1.69. They are usually $1.49 for one. I don’t wear makeup, but these little babies are my weakness.
I ended up buying FIVE 2-packs (10 lip balms in total) and walked out of the drug store feeling like I won the lottery!
It really IS the small things in life
YES!! Awesome find Kelsi !
You should have seen me after I won my auction bid for Frangelico at $7.50 / bottle. Maybe not as happy as after drinking said Frangelico, but it was still awesome
I like flyers, they make good reading material in the bathroom, and unlike the “star” magazine, they are free!!
Oh and yah, very good fire starter.
I worked in retail a number of years ago and the “deal” that you THINK you are getting isn’t always a deal after all!!!
Check the price a few weeks before, you will see they jack the price and lower it for the “sale” in alot of stores. I won’t mention which ones, but if you are alert and keep your eyes open, the “deal” isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be!
Your banana bread does rock, I must say.
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You never know, maybe I put booze in it…
MMM – no, that’s a different recipe. Like my stew with sherry!
Meh, I know my deals – I have a price book in my head so I know when something’s wonky. I do get thrown for a loop sometimes when I travel though.
My latest grocery hauls: 10 peanut butters, 10 cans coconut milk, 50 lb. oat groats, 30 lb. coffee, and so on. Not a balanced diet!
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Someone’s a carb junkie!
My latest was 1/4 beef (200 pounds+) for $2.54 / lb. Grass fed at that! I don’t know about the coffee though – doesn’t it go bad, sort of? Not that that’s ever stopped me when it comes to coffee!
That’s me! Except I haven’t used the flyer system in a while– it just takes too much time and the place we live is all about the processed loss leaders. It’s easier to stockpile on sale goods at the store. (Knowing the pantry stuff is cheapest around holidays.)
My banana bread is more raisiny than chocolatey.
Thanks for the comment Nicole!
Raisins eh? I’m a walnut girl myself and don’t really like chocolate (heresy I know!) although my friends do.
I try to stay out of the stores around the holidays, they have sales on then for stupid $hit I don’t need that somehow makes it into my cart – when I forget myself. It’s one of those tactics that’s a double edged sword – it saves money but is it stuff I really need???
Peach-broccoli-bean casserole…. heh!
My deep pantry could easily be mistaken for a zombie-apocalypse-is-coming food hoard.
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LOL, I think I’d just read The Road when I wrote that one. If I’d seen “28 Days Later”, it would have been zombies.