Last night, I was sitting on the deck enjoying a wobbly pop with my oldest son – who paid his biweekly rent!, discussing shopping. In listening to his (very short) story of buying a new pair of shoes, I realized that maybe some people’s (my) strategy shouldn’t be to avoid shopping but to learn to shop like a man. Which actually is a method of avoiding “shopping” and going straight to the buying.
How do men shop vs. women?
OMG, it’s like someone is following me around because this really IS how I shop. And it’s also how I got into debt years ago, from following my cavewoman-like gathering instincts when I would have been better off being a hunter, not a gatherer.
After our talk, I practiced this “shop like a man” strategy when I went to pick up groceries last night. I needed to pick up fruit and milk and repeated to myself mentally over and over “only pick up what you need, only pick up what you need.” The bill came to just over $11 – AND I didn’t have to just bring in $20 to the store to limit myself. Hopefully that won’t be enough to make me lose the frugal catfight this month.
I’ve read somewhere that women do over 80% of all household purchasing. But maybe that’s a mistake – maybe what would really help people get out of debt or save money is to make the men do all the buying. I tried doing that with my son for groceries and he just spent too much or forgot to pick up something on the list. One thing’s for sure though, unlike me, he never picked up anything that wasn’t on the list.
For a little tidbit for anyone who’s actually shopping for a man or woman, here’s a map I ran across of where to find those.
In your family, does the woman do all or most of the shopping?
When the guys do it, do they spend more but just get what you need like in mine?
love breakthroughs and it sounds like "shop like a man" is going to enhance your already super-woman like financial skills!
AS for me, I guess I used to 'shop like a woman'. Spending untold hours and cash buying all the latest fashions. now, I shop like a dude who doesn't have extra cash to be spending on clothes
haha
Catfight's over in 2 days right? can't wait to see the results! Go Jacq! Go SMRM!
~Mike
Hey Mike! Well, I worked sort of like a man and my brothers, boyfriends and friends have all told me that I think remarkably like a man for someone that's girly in every other way, so I suppose it shouldn't be TOO much of a stretch! Good to see you're in touch with your feminine side.
Sometimes not having cash is good though, it shows you what you really value – but it can also show you that you just REALLY WANT MORE CASH!!! Nothing wrong with that!
In my family I do 90% of the shopping and avoid sending my husband. He treats grocery shopping like an opportunity to try everything I don't bring home – bill is at least 30% higher than when I am on my own.
Hey Jennifer, I know what you mean, although it wasn't that my son brought home new stuff, more that he didn't do any kind of price comparison AT ALL. But he's starting to recognize that buying milk at the convenience store is 50% higher than it as at the grocery store at least. He had to shop with his own money to figure that one out.
It sounds like you have an adventurous eater! Usually the less commonplace things are the most expensive too.
If my son comes with me shopping, it's a short trip. He hates shopping. He would rather be doing root canal.
I want to see what happens when you run across a great purse store..
Then your skills and your willpower will really be tested!!
I'm glad your son paid his rent and that has worked out. It will mean alot to him when he is really on his own.
Ha! I have emerged unscathed from purse sales at Macy's and I will again! I can justify one a year to myself and the last one was that little Coach messenger bag I picked up for $20 that you coveted. So none for me for another year. I don't know what the heck I'll get for my birthday-present-to-self though this year. I'll have to think of something specific and not just go shopping.
Loved the map! Similarly to your revelation, I discovered a while ago that when the girls are sent to the grocery store with a list, they come back with just that – stuff that was on the list.
Since I've been putting our grocery money in an envelope, they've been doing more shopping. Perhaps I should be sending them to do a lot more this summer! Our grocery money may go a bit further.
Go get 'em in the Catfight. I know you can do it!
Hey MCM, I think it's a double edged sword though in a way. I keep the costs down by stocking up on sale items, so if I did that ALL the time, it would cost me money overall. Maybe once a month when it's the sale day at the grocery store I can go female and then be a man the rest of the time? I think it definitely pays off when you're talking about clothes or Christmas gifts. I definitely used to overbuy for Christmas because of shopping like this.
Hi Jacq- I should have tried the mantra "just what I need," the last time I went to the store. Tomorrow I'm going to tally the spending for June….. See you at the finish line. Best regards, Barb
You know, as a guy, I think there is a lot to this.
I'm 39 now, and strangely I care much less about my shopping now vs back in my 20's. But back in the day, it was a different story – from what I was told then, I had style, from casual settings to business. Certainly wouldn't apply now, but back then it did.
And you know what? I STILL had the approach laid out by the diagram above. I knew when are where the right sales were, and I went in just to the specific store, spend maybe 2 hours, and left. I did this maybe 3 times a year. Focused, get in and get out of there without extraneous shopping. And it worked out well.
I still do it in that way, but with much less thought, and it probably shows. I am starting to work on that part now, but the approach will stay the same.
Hey Barb, it's surprisingly somewhat difficult to do – just anecdotally looking at the people at tills, there's very few men in there with a lot of items and very few women with very few items.
Squirrelers, I know what you mean about style sometimes going away as you get older. I don't want to get to the stage that I get frumpy and used to be VERY clothes-proud. I think my method works for me now for clothes because I only go clothes shopping once every 2 years or so and have a budget and certain items that I know I want to pick up. And because I'm doing it in one session, I know everything I buy is something that goes together. What I don't do any more is just go shopping for the sake of shopping on a regular basis.
I used to shop like a woman, too. But during our family's financial crisis of the late 1990's, I broke that habit once and for all. Now I not only shop like a man when I have to shop, but often I can't even bring myself to do it. I've gone into stores looking for a pair of shoes, try on a few pair, don't find what I like, get sick of shopping and leave. Total price = $0. (Of course, it means I don't have a pair of shoes that I need and eventually I do have to get one somewhere.)
Worse is that my sisters-in-law and I used to shop recreationally. Whenver the family would gather, we would go shopping for fun. It often ended up with our encouraging each other in purchases that weren't necessary or even good! Thank goodness we've all dropped that habit too.